"Life is not about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

Don’t fake it till you make it, fake it till you BECOME it

Don’t fake it till you make it, fake it till you BECOME it


For as long as I can remember I was a shy person, lacking confidence. So I started to identify myself with these terms. I just thought “this is who I am” and I continued being that way. After years of hiding in the dark, I was ready to try something new and started to gather information about how to become more confident.


I now know that: No one is born confident and no one is born with lack of confidence, you create it! People don’t know you are shy or talkative until you let them. I know a lot of you will say: “Easier said than done”, so here are my tips to create more confidence.



Stand up tall

Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy argues that “power posing” – standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident – can boost feelings of confidence, and might have an impact on our chances for success. E.g. stand up tall in front of the mirror before facing a challenge, go into a meeting or do something out of your comfort zone.



Challenge your fears

Fears are only fears because we avoid them. If we challenge ourselves with what we are afraid of, we grow from them. Getting outside of your comfort zone is key to creating confidence. E.g. call a stranger by dialing any number on your phone and wish him/her a beautiful day.



Be specific about your goals

Instead of doing things to stop lacking confidence, start doing things to create confidence. If you’re forever focusing on what you are not, you will continue to be the person you don’t want to become. Want to be confident? Focus on being confident. Speak up in big groups, wear whatever you want to wear, start to record yourself talking on your phone. Focus on things that will make you feel confident. Ask yourself WHY you want to become more confident and practice daily!



Surround yourself with people who help you, not those who drag you down

We have all had a relationship where that person makes you lack self-esteem, says things that makes you feel uncomfortable and overall makes you feel weak. Create relationships where you thrive of each other’s growth, you motivate each other and make each other feel strong. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are and who thrive of your happiness and success.  Remember, “your vibes create your tribes”.

And always remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!


Feel free to share your thoughts and comments and don’t forget to check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk! It has actually raised my own confidence.


Thank you for reading.

Xx Nila




Your body language may shape who you are, Amy Cuddy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *