“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.“
We all have that voice inside ourselves, the one that can sometimes sit on our shoulders feeling like a tone of bricks and can bounce up and down in our mind pounding into us one self critical thought after another. You don’t need to be diagnosed with a “mental disorder” for these thoughts to pop up in your head. We all have them, and who agrees it’s not fun in the slightest?
A breath of truth,
which I don’t know whether I should be telling you this,
but I’m going to anyway.
I’m hand on heart only here because of two reasons,
1. I want to help people. Help them to grow to heal and to create who they want to be.
And 2. I want to have a voice that is bigger than my own.
I’m only one single person, I’m a tiny body, a face with a smile and always a little sparkle in my green eyes. I have a heart that is beating – just like anybody else. Have a full-time job, a handful of very close friends. I have a voice and I’m no better than anybody else on this planet. And I have a name, a life, a routine – just like anybody else. But if I were to stand in the streets yelling out a caption or a blog it would reach maybe 10 or 20 passerby’s, not more.
But on this platform I am bigger than that, I can reach more people than I could ever possibly achieve without it.
When I began my recovery, I knew the feeling of finding freedom was just too good a feeling to keep for myself.
I wanted every sufferer to have that moment when they stop and think, “I thought recovery was real, I knew it existed, I knew it was possible, but I never thought that I would experience it”. But you CAN, if you chose to take the step out of your comfort zone.
That’s because we are always more capable of seeing the strength in others before ourselves, but we can do anything. We are all so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
Instagram and a blog is a hard place to share a message of such importance and beauty. I know. And I wish that I could reach more people with what I have to say. I wish that IG would be used not for following strangers posting about discount codes and fashion updates, but about things that can really make a difference in this world.
But I’m trying and I hope that for those that are listening, I’m somehow helping.
My own struggle
I have suffered with mental health issues for a long time. I had been in care and treatment for years upon years. It wasn’t until recently that I finally dedicated myself to recovery. (Recovery needs the, ‘I’)
The thing about mental illnesses is that no one ever chooses to suffer from them. No one can pick or choose which one they fancy, when or how long for. I never wished to be ill or suffer at any point of my life. DEFINITELY NOT! It was a coping mechanism for me, mistreating my body and mind was a friend I latched onto whilst searching for safety and comfort. It was down to the combination of my personality traits and my environment.
The more I learn about mental health, the more I realise that, just like physical health, it’s not about the one off things that make a big difference. But the continued (daily) practices that we can develop to support our every day health. These practices can support our ability to manage the inevitable flux of life. I’m sure you can guess that yoga plays a big part in supporting my positive mental health. That doesn’t mean that all days are rosy, but that the hard days are easier when I’ve been on my mat regularly.
There are other things too – eating well, seeing friends, creativity, being in nature, giving myself space to be, to breath. Sometimes I lean more in to some and other times others, but the most positive thing has been creating this toolbox for myself and knowing that there is no shame in talking and sharing. In fact, I think if we all had the courage to talk a bit more about how we feel and the compassion to listen and hold space for others, then our collective mental health could be supported even more!
Don’t be the victim
“Your personality loads the gun and the environment pulls the trigger.”
A mental illness is a dark force that takes over your mind, it breaks you, steals you and becomes your existence. Mental illnesses are horrible and should not be fantasied over. This is something we must tackle as soon as possible.
For years I lived listening to the voice inside of me telling me I wasn’t ever good enough, skinny enough, worthy enough and I thought my life would always be that way. But, it turns out that humans are complex creatures with powerful emotions and we have the sad ability to self destruct BUT we also have the beautiful ability to self heal. The voice I used to hear shouting at me, bullying me, hurdling hate at me, ripping through me, drowning me… I now hear whispering love poems to me & encouraging me. I still have bad days but they are rare, I’m self-healing you see.
I’m so grateful that I’ve found tools (such as yoga, a plant based diet, new friends, meditation) to look after my mental well-being. When I was struggling, my mental and physical well-being plummeted, I felt lost, hopeless and could not see how I could ever get better!
It took several years of hard work to finally recover, and it isn’t over yet, but today I don’t look back with shame but with gratitude to what I’ve achieved. One step at the time. Once you start to believe that change is possible, you can really start your healing journey.
I usually don’t talk about this but today I just want to let you know that you are not alone and I’m sending all my love and support for those struggling.
Now it’s your turn!
Nothing is impossible when you start to believe in yourself. But only YOU can change yourself so never put the keys for happiness in someone else’s pocket! Crack your shell open so that the light can shine in and out of you, reflecting inner peace and freedom.
Unlock your own door to brightness and let your light shine bright!
I am sending all my love to those of you struggling! I want to let you know that you are NOT ALONE! There are many more out there suffering. They are just afraid to speak up.
Stay strong! If I can do this, you can too!
Always love, Nila
REMEMBER that change happens once the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.You.